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Monday, November 19, 2012
Sunday, November 18, 2012
Getting out of God's way
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight."
I had one of those ugly weeks this week. Tired, agitated, short fuse, emotions leaking everywhere. The two people closest to me saw exactly what was going on. "You're not yourself this week... I know you're stuck, you don't have the answers right now, and you don't know what to do with yourself." The gift of being understood... Thank you, God, for the grace and love of Kyle and my mom. Gosh, we all need each other in this big, bad world.
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight."
--Proverbs 3:5-6
The chains that are binding me? DECISIONS...
- interviewing for countless jobs and trying to pick the best one for me right now,
- trying to find and secure a safe place to move to in 3 weeks,
- studying for PA school exams,
- studying for my board certification exam that is less than 3 weeks away
Thankfully, God gives us these days every now and then where He breaks us down to our knees, takes our heaviness onto His shoulders, and grabs us by the hand to lead us back to His path. Saturday was one of those days for me, the women's conference at church, with author/speaker Pam Farrel. I didn't know it was just what I needed because I hadn't fully realized what I had done...
"I am overwhelmed. I am stuck in my plans. I am seeking control. I feel insecure. I am tired. I feel like I have to take charge in my worries about the future. I feel blinded and shielded from the bigger picture what is going on around me. I feel like I have to hold myself up. I am stuck in the small details. I am striving for perfection. My focus is distracted. I feel like I'm floating through every day. "
Uhhh... Staci, don't you see the fleshly lies and tactics of the enemy written all over that? Don't you remember those same "come-to-Jesus" moments from before? Don't you remember that you are weak and He is strong... your strength will fail you and you will return to thriving in dependence on Him... your naively calculated plans don't scratch the surface of His perfect purposes...?
One of my favorite blogs to follow, by Carey Scott, talked about this exact struggle just this week:
"So often, we leave Him in the dust as we find ourselves
wandering without a map.
We take matters into our own hands.
We make decisions based on emotions
and desires.
We lack wisdom and discernment in
some areas.
And had I stopped to locate the position of God in my situation…
I’d have seen He was barely visible in my rear-view mirror.
In those times, I decided to handle
things my way…
But I’ve learned that when we are intentional to let God to
lead, life is just better. Now better doesn’t always mean easier.
It doesn’t mean “problem-free.” It rarely means comfortable.
But it does mean He will keep us on a straight path.
When we choose to take the driver’s seat instead, we find
ourselves without a GPS… unable to navigate the unknown terrain… in danger of
making the wrong turn… and desperate for direction.
… Every stinkin’ time.
Let’s choose to follow Him rather than see Him over our
shoulder.
Let’s get comfy in the backseat.”
Amen...
Lessons learned:
-"I will know the Truth and the Truth will set me free." - John 8:32
-God is my strength, He is in control, He waits for me to seek Him for my life.
-I need those godly relationships that point me back to Him.
-God is good, He provides and gives us what we need... I have clear answers today to prayers from my past.
-I get in the way of what God is trying to do... ALL THE TIME.
-I get in the way of what God is trying to do... ALL THE TIME.
>>Listen to the words of this song...
(At the Cross - by Hillsong)
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