Waiting on God

I'm waiting I'm waiting on You, Lord And I am peaceful I'm waiting on You, Lord Though it's not easy But faithfully, I will wait Yes, I will wait I will serve You while I'm waiting I will worship while I'm waiting I will serve You while I'm waiting I will worship while I'm waiting I will serve you while I'm waiting I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

Getting out of God's way

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
⁶ in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight." 

     --Proverbs 3:5-6

I had one of those ugly weeks this week.  Tired, agitated, short fuse, emotions leaking everywhere.  The two people closest to me saw exactly what was going on.  "You're not yourself this week... I know you're stuck, you don't have the answers right now, and you don't know what to do with yourself."  The gift of being understood...  Thank you, God, for the grace and love of Kyle and my mom.  Gosh, we all need each other in this big, bad world.

The chains that are binding me?  DECISIONS...

• interviewing for countless jobs and trying to pick the best one for me right now, 
• trying to find and secure a safe place to move to in 3 weeks, 
• studying for PA school exams, 
• studying for my board certification exam that is less than 3 weeks away

How do I make this all work out?  Ha, that should have been my first clue... How do I...?  

Thankfully, God gives us these days every now and then where He breaks us down to our knees, takes our heaviness onto His shoulders, and grabs us by the hand to lead us back to His path.  Saturday was one of those days for me, the women's conference at church, with author/speaker Pam Farrel.  I didn't know it was just what I needed because I hadn't fully realized what I had done...

"I am overwhelmed. I am stuck in my plans. I am seeking control. I feel insecure.  I am tired.  I feel like I have to take charge in my worries about the future.  I feel blinded and shielded from the bigger picture what is going on around me.  I feel like I have to hold myself up.  I am stuck in the small details.  I am striving for perfection.  My focus is distracted.  I feel like I'm floating through every day. "

Uhhh... Staci, don't you see the fleshly lies and tactics of the enemy written all over that?  Don't you remember those same "come-to-Jesus" moments from before?  Don't you remember that you are weak and He is strong... your strength will fail you and you will return to thriving in dependence on Him... your naively calculated plans don't scratch the surface of His perfect purposes...?

One of my favorite blogs to follow, by Carey Scott, talked about this exact struggle just this week:

"So often, we leave Him in the dust as we find ourselves wandering without a map.

We take matters into our own hands.

We make decisions based on emotions and desires.

We lack wisdom and discernment in some areas.

And had I stopped to locate the position of God in my situation… I’d have seen He was barely visible in my rear-view mirror.

In those times, I decided to handle things my way…

But I’ve learned that when we are intentional to let God to lead, life is just better.  Now better doesn’t always mean easier.  It doesn’t mean “problem-free.”  It rarely means comfortable.

But it does mean He will keep us on a straight path.

When we choose to take the driver’s seat instead, we find ourselves without a GPS… unable to navigate the unknown terrain… in danger of making the wrong turn… and desperate for direction.

… Every stinkin’ time.

Let’s choose to follow Him rather than see Him over our shoulder.

Let’s get comfy in the backseat.”

Amen...

Lessons learned:

-"I will know the Truth and the Truth will set me free." - John 8:32

-God is my strength, He is in control, He waits for me to seek Him for my life.

-I need those godly relationships that point me back to Him.

-God is good, He provides and gives us what we need... I have clear answers today to prayers from my past.
-I get in the way of what God is trying to do... ALL THE TIME.

>>Listen to the words of this song...

(At the Cross - by Hillsong)

For All Women (whether you passed 20 already, or not!)

"20 Things I Wish I'd Known At 20"

(slightly revised for language purposes...)

http://mightygirl.com/2010/06/16/20-things-i-wish-i’d-known-at-20/

Oh, how true is most of this list... My own personal experiences speak to so many of these life lessons.

There is something to be said for raising girls right: in the image of God, teaching them to be confident young women, helping them to see their value, encouraging character growth...   

1. Consider the source. If you’re worried about someone who dislikes you, first ask yourself whether they’re a person of integrity. If you don’t like them, and they don’t like you, that’s not a problem. That’s a mutual understanding.

2. Get off the couch. If you find yourself playing hard to get, don’t pretend to be busy. Just be busy.

3. Don’t waste your time. If you have to play hard to get, move on. You’ll know when you’ve found a healthy relationship because it won’t confuse you.

4. When in doubt, shut up. Silence is a smart negotiation tactic, the best option when you’re processing how to respond, and always more productive than lying about what you’re thinking.

5. Don’t complain. Maybe venting makes you feel better, but letting off steam can also lull you into maintaining the status quo. Unfortunately, the status quo is irritating you, which is why you’re whining in the first place. If you’re frustrated, turn that energy toward fixing your problems, not complaining about them.

6. Don’t obsess. Worrying is complaint’s ugly cousin. Either use that energy to change your situation, or relax.

7. Find an age-appropriate style. No one wants to see a 20 year old in beige slacks and a wool blazer. Buy trendy clothes, wear the cute little sun-dress, do something ugly with your hair. Be part of your generation, so you can laugh at the photos later.

8. Be polite. It keeps doors open, lessens the potential for misunderstandings, and increases the odds of getting invited back to the beach house.

9. But defend your boundaries. When someone isn’t taking no for an answer, clarify what you want, and then respond forcefully. Being polite to someone who isn’t hearing you is naive.

10. You look good. There’s no such thing as the hottest person in the room. Everyone is attracted to something different, so just take those odds and run with them.

11. Being nice is overrated. In fact, “nice” is the least interesting thing someone can say about you.

12. Keep it to yourself. “She seems nice” is an excellent thing to say about someone you don’t like. Particularly in the company of people you don’t know.

13. Know your audience. When you’re telling a story and someone interrupts you, let them.

14. Let your passion shape your profession. You know that thing your dad says? “If work wasn’t hard, they wouldn’t pay you to do it.” Please. There are professional rock stars, astronauts, puppy trainers, and bloggers.

15. Sex is personal. Don’t bother with one-night stands if they’re not your thing, and don’t judge people for enjoying them (or not). Waiting to sleep with someone doesn’t make you an uptight prude, and jumping into bed doesn’t make you a spontaneous adventure seeker.

16. Focus. The saying, “what you’re thinking about is what you’re becoming” isn’t just chilling, it’s a universal law. Be aware of how you’re investing your attention – including your words, and your actions.

17. Cut yourself a break. Don’t offer a running commentary on your own faults. When you do, the people around you listen. Give yourself space to change your character.

18. Don’t be intimidated. World travelers are just people who bought plane tickets. Pulitzer Prize winners are people who sit alone and write. You can break the most profound accomplishment down to a series of mundane tasks.

19. Choose good company. Ask yourself if a person makes you better or drains your life force. If the answer is B, you’re busy next time they call. And the time after that.

20. Enjoy your body. Odds are you’re more beautiful now than you will be again.

Inspiration to really live...

http://learningtoloveyoumore.com/index.php

::Purpose::

I created this blog about one year ago, and today I have finally convinced myself to start writing!

One year ago, I was completing my first year of Physician Assistant School, earning my beloved White Coat, and starting to finally see real patients in my clinical rotations.

I had a moment.  I remember feeling like the Holy Spirit stopped me in my tracks, pointed a finger in my face and said, "This life is big, and big things are happening.  God gave you this big life so that others might seek Him and know Him.  Are you just going to let these moments pass by?"

Hmm.  Not a chance!

I am a believer in words.  In writing things down.  In lists.  In documenting moments, whether with pictures, mementos, or journaling.  I believe in the power of solidifying the experiences we are blessed with.

My room speaks to this... My desk is covered in sticky notes and scrap pieces of paper with "DO This..." lists, books to read, medical concepts to look up.  My bookcase is piled with journals and sermon notes, and books about faith and enjoying life.

So I'm finally going to do it.  This blog will be a witness to the life God has given me to use for His purposes.  It will share blessings and joy, trials and hardship.  It will share lessons for life.  It will share the Light in my life, and the Truth.  It will share encouragement with love and grace.

I invite you to be my witness, too.